i was just reading some blogs… and realized how lucky am i !!so many people out there who are suffering much much more badly than i am … i always think I’m being neglected and unloved.. but in reality I’m very lucky already … i mean i get what i ask for , mum and dad will be there for me (not always but at least they’ll be there to support me at any time) , we’re still under one roof! we’re not separated …. but soon I’ll be separated from them .. yes again !! but I’m leaving the a better future… it is beneficial to me and my family too!!
why do i want to get my Masters now? people often tell me that i should gain some working experience first, i know, it is better that way but I’m afraid that the lazy me will be too lazy to return to school after working , u get what i mean ? it is like after i start work , then settle down with my own family , with kids around, i think going back to school is even harder !! because i would like to devote 100% of my time to my family , so i would not want to waste my time on my own studies… i haven’t start working, haven’t get married, this is just what i want for my future , it may not be like this when i really get married but until today i still hope that I’ll be a devoted wife and mummy … the fact is that i want to be the first Master holder (female) in my family !! all this while my family only have male master holder! no females yet! so I am hoping to be the first!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i do not understand how can some of my friends plan not to get a family !! this is the sweetest thing ever in life!!! kick the kids issue aside, i think a bride is always the prettiest!! she’ll have the glow in her face… people said pregnant lady is the happiest.. but i don’t think so , i think they suffer alot( maybe they’re happy to suffer as long as their baby is healthy ) but i think I’ll be so stressed up, I’ll be so worried everyday every minute wondering if my baby is still alive , making sure that he/she is doing fine in my big belly … plus gotta take into consideration of the hubby’s feelings.. i think hubby will be stressed up too in this kind of situation .. not only this .. the giving birth procedure is even scarier !!!! yucks… for me … I’ll not choose natural birth!! i don’t think i can push push push !! I’ll faint!! hahahaah … enough bout the pregnant and giving birth.. I’m abit scared now….
after delivering, i think that’s when the real nightmare begins!! u gotta take care of her for uncountable years!! even when she is 50 (if I’m still alive) she’s still my baby girl…. u get what i mean ? this is what my mum always says , maybe that’s the reason why they are still calling me 妹妹 (mei mei/lil’ sister) and calling my younger sister “baby” hahahaha… from kindergarden–>primary–> secondary –>college –>uni–> work–> dating –>marriage –>family , u see at every different stage of life, you will need to worry bout different things/matters. money is definitely a big big issue!! no money means die la… to me no money means end of the world!!
i know my thinking is bad … but i really cannot imagine if I’m so poor one day till i cannot even afford to buy a piece of clothing that i like, cannot even afford to buy my son a new schoolbag etc etc …. but at least with my qualification now , i doubt that will happen to me !! but … things are unpredictable!! nobody knows what will happen tomorrow!i am glad that i am born in this family, like what mummy always reminds us that we’re very lucky!! lucky to be born healthy with smart brain and complete organs !! that is true, at least we are not deaf, not blind etc etc…plus dad can afford to give me sufficient money to spend every month , i should thank god for that! 
having a good life when I’m young , means I’ll have a tougher path to go through after marriage life , that’s what mum always say !! life will change after marriage, that’s the turning point in life!! means if life before marriage is terrible, she/he will get a wonderful life after marriage, how true is this ? i don’t know….
sigh .. this always bothers me …. i want to give the best to my kid!! if i cannot afford, I’ll only have one kid, i make sure i give her the best out of everything i have, i will not be like those older amahs (old ladies) whom give birth to dozens of kids hoping that one day one of them will take care of her when she is old!! that’s one of my aunt’s thinking, she is younger than my mum by a few years but her thinking is totally out!! she has 7 or 8 kids! oldest is only about 20 , youngest is only 4 or 5 probably !! problem is - she’s poor yet she give birth to so many, ended up non of them is being treated well, their do not get proper education, yes they go to school but no tuition for them … of course she is not educated to, no1 can help those kids .. her husband is another failure!! well, he is plain lazy la!! conclusion : no money then don’t bring a unnecessary life into this world okie ? u’ll bring them here to suffer!!
everyone around me tells me this - “Mei Mei , u better marry a rich man or a datuk !! ” haha why they say so ? because of our upbringing i guess! pampered by mum and dad all this while, so if suddenly my hubby is a poor bloke then I’ll be in trouble! i think I’ll request for a big big 嫁庄 , maybe a condo! hhahaaha …. I’m dreaming yes! day dreaming!! but nevermind, i shall look at a brighter side , hubby will be a rich man !!! haahaha
I’m too materialistic , but this is the real world today !! tell me , if u dress up in broken t-shirt and shorts plus the ah pek slippers( the blue and white one) with your face dirty dirty, walk into a 7 star hotel , u think they will treat u nicely ? they’ll doubt if u really got the money to stay in !!don’t talk about hotel, even in shopping malls, if u dress up abit “kampung-ish” u think the saleslady will serve u ? but I’m very mean!! the more u look down on me, the more i would want to revenge!!! hahah . this is what always happen, when i walk into lets say jewelery shops!!!! they’ll automatically bring me to the PROMO area, then they’ll promote rm199 perset of rm99 for earings or etc etc… then i’ll ask for better ones, of course after they realized that u r actually capable in buying more expensive stuff !! they’re service to u will change!! especially after u pay with your credit card , i do not know issit because i use a platinum card, the irritating sales person who looked down on me previously will really change, she’ll even address u your name, and send u out to the door step after u show them the card!! i hate those sales person!!! even if I’m just looking at the stuffs, u r suppose to treat me nicely , not just treat me nice if i buy stuff oki ???
i’ve experienced this so many times once in Metrojaya,Midvalley , when i was paying at the cashier , this Malay lady who was lining up behind me , she saw my wallet with a few gold and few platinum cards, i don’t know why she thought i cannot understand Malay, maybe I’m fair she thought I’m either Korean or Japanese or even China people! u know what she said ?? she said to the cashier who happens to be a Malay as well ” tengok dia, kad banyak tak tau buat apa tu ! ” ( look at her , so many cards i wonder what’s the use) then she laughed!!! after i paid , i turned over and look at her , i said ” i ada kad sebab parents i bagi! kenapa? tak boleh ke? jangan la jealous!!” (so what if i have many cards? they are from my parents, are u jealous ?) then i walked away , she gave me that look !! who cares!?!!? she thinks she’s very good is it ? hello ??? I’m also a Malaysian okie ?!?!? i can understand Malay , i means i may not speak fluently but i can understand !! and is it her problem that i have one card or many cards!? bodoh!! angry !!
if i want to be jealous, i will really die, i have friends who buy expensive bags every 1 -2 months!! i have friends whom changes car like more than 6 times since we got our license ( all new and nice cars!! not lousy cars alright!?) , i have friend who are ambassador’s son! i have friends who belongs to the royalty family , friends who are son of a minister…. of course they are more well off then i do !! then what? i go and compare with them ?? noway I’m going to compare!! I’ll die flat!! and i see no point in competing! those are not our money !!!!
sigh .. why am i complaining again ?! but i suppose this is life … packaging is very important!! if u do no dress up decently , u may lose out a big business opportunity ! then u’ll be in trouble !!that’s the reason why i make sure i look decent when i am scheduling to meet some one.. of course if I’m just driving out to pick my sister, i know I’ll not get out of the car, I’ll simply dress up in my winnie the pooh/mickey mouse big big pajamas!! hahah …
trust me , it make alot of difference in dressing!! in future , with my own money , if i can afford I’ll definitely help those in need!! but now , i cannot decide for my parents’ money !!
